I guess this one is untitled.

This is one of the few times
when I will not ask for forgiveness.
I speak honestly and openly--
hidden behind the safety of my pen.
I ask of you only
that you take this for what it is,
take me for who I am;
do not take blame,
do not take pity.
I do not trust what I do not know;
the horrors I have seen
live in the shadows
that await me at the next turn.
But I also do not trust
that which is familiar;
the manifestation of these scars
never fail to resurface--
and life is lived
in the inevitable, unavoidable state
of deja vu--
and each step I take toward the shadows,
each breath I take of this darkness,
each day survived in a lack of sustenance--
each moment weakens me,
mind, soul--
and body, alike.
Things which are familiar
are a threat;
things which are unknown
are a warning;
that which is both unknown and familiar
leaves my mind screaming blindly
and my emotions to hide
and my legs to run.
This is one of the few times
that I will kneel
and _beg_ for your understanding--
I will push you away completely,
I will run away from you,
I will doubt every word you say,
I will doubt even the _proof_ that you offer;
I will lose trust in you
lacking a single rational reason,
and you will go through _hell_ to regain it;
I will scream,
I will fight,
I will avoid you--
I will do _all_ of this
and never even realize it,
I will never see it happening
and I will never understand.
Your words are familiar
just like they were familiar
coming from the last boy who spoke to me,
and before him,
and before him, as well;
I do not have much trust left inside of me
and even from that
I can only offer you a sliver--
to no fault of your own--
the portion grows smaller
as the wounds grow deeper;
every piece of my trust,
every piece of my heart
that I have given away
has been taken--
and has been lost forever
[and the wounds are too deep now
even for scars to form--]
but please know--
should you leave like everyone before you
should this sacred piece
of what is left of my heart
be lost--
I will never blame you
just as I do not blame them;
I will only blame myself.
I ask of you only
that you take this for what it is,
take me for who I am;
do not take pity,
and do not take blame.