Your love is sad, shooting star...

"...a little less than a happy high,
a little less than a suicide--
the only things that you really tried..."

Every time I reach for that phone-- no matter who I had in mind to call or what I had in mind to say-- I just lose interest. It's been made pretty damn clear to me that it's unwanted, and I'm fine with that. Honestly. So I'm the only one I'll talk to, [CFH]. Anyone else reading this, fuck off and stop bothering me.

And if I really gave a shit, this is what I would say... but I don't. So I'm saying it to me, because it's fun to think of what all those assholes would say if they knew that every batting of my fucking eyelashes that happened to be in their general direction-- was fake, and purely for my own entertainment.

I'm sick of people like you. And I'll never admit it to your face. I used to. I used to be brutally honest, sometimes to the point of being a bitch. And I was a tactful bitch, which might have been the best part. But now, I'll smile an empty smile and ask you how you are, and you'll know that I really don't give half a shit about what you're saying, but there's nothing you can do about it because I'm the epitome of polite.

I know you can see emptiness in my eyes where there was once a burning passion. And no, of course the passion has not died. You just no longer deserve to see even a hint of it. It's too fucking precious to become tainted by the mere thought of your dead eyes looking upon it.

I'm not angry at the world. Honestly, I'm not. I was angry at myself for having expected anything from anyone, but now that I know not to set any kind of expectations, I'm fine with the knowledge that a lack of integrity is all I can hope to get out of any of you fuckers.

There is perhaps one person outside of my immediate family who I would protect by incurring all the fire and wrath of hell upon anyone who tried to fuck with him; other than that, it's just my family. Don't fuck with them. Because if you fuck with them, you're fucking with the entire family. And that will be more pain than you've ever experienced.

The bottom line is, I just don't give a shit anymore. If they don't want to hear it, well, they can be damed certain they'll never again hear anything from me.




This is fun.
I like this.
Let's see which dimwit catches on the quickest.
By then, I'll be long gone...

[If I could make it here, I can make it anywhere.]